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Warm welcome message
Who is Stubby?

Is Stubby a capitalist?
Stubby writes for LaptopAmerica!

Meet the average
small investor

Panic Along With Stubby!
Federal Reserve
Fiat Fate
Hyperinflation
National Debt
Peak Oil
Pension Crisis
Realty Bubble
Social (in)Security

The Mogambo is right.
The dollar really is freakin' doomed!!!
Buy Gold!






 

So what did you expect to find on a Home page?


 

Ode to the Federal Reserve Note

I promise to pay,
I promise to pay,
They print me by night,
They print me by day.

I promise to pay,
Not in gold; that's OK.
'Don't worry, be happy!,'
I heard the Fed say.

I promise to pay,
You can trust me, hey, hey!
They blanket the Earth
With my promise to pay.

I promise to pay,
And I promise to stay,
But just how much longer?
Dunno, I can't say.

I am, they declare,
The most legal of tender.
But pass me around,
And you're slave to the lender.

The Fed is not federal,
There are no reserves.
He who denies that,
Gets what he deserves.

Created on Jekyll,
Now where shall I Hyde?;
When the public finds out
My Creators all lied?

I promise to pay.
Cross my heart; Do you pray?
God is eternal. But me?
Nope, no way.

(I'll promise to pay,
Until you rue the day,
I vanish to dust
And am gone far away.)

You didn't buy silver.
You didn't buy gold.
You didn't buy bullion,
Bar, ingot or rolled.

Your fear of collapse
Is most surely half mental.
Don't dwell on the past,
It ain't worth a Continental.

You trusted in George.
And that was just handy.
You trusted in Ben,
In Ulysses and Andy.

Each spoke the hard truth about
Money of paper.
Now mocked on the notes they despised,
What a caper!

The face on the $10
Is that fop, Alexander.
Who caused such a flap that
Bold Aaron cried 'Slander!'

Burr shot him at dawn,
Somewhere deep in the wood.
The duel was now over.
'Twas all for the good.

Our country's first Father,
And President too,
Had trusted young Alex
To see the war through.

Appointed him Treasury's
First Secretary,
For Hamilton gave him,
No cause to be wary.

But Hamilton had
A most federalist hanker,
To plunder the People
With him as their banker.

His patrons in Europe
Had failed with the spear.
Now duped by the checkbook,
The folk would pay dear.

The People cast votes for
Their leaders: Such fools!
(It's those with the Gold who
Make all of the rules.)

I promise to pay.
In just what I can't say.
Confidence, Dear,
Will carry the day.

I promise to pay.
In more paper, oy vey!
Just pass me along
To the next fool, I say.

You trust in my paper?
Too late! Take a pill.
I'll skip on the dinner,
And leave you the bill.

You trusted in Volker,
Now there was a man.
Who did what he had do,
A man with a plan!

You trusted in Alan,
Your error was grave.
Hark, what is that sound?
Rand twirls in her grave!

Big Al waxed all sunny,
When writing of gold,
As the only true money,
But then he got old, and...

... forgot his von Mises;
Spoke oft with forked tongue.
In Jefferson's day,
He would have been hung*!

(If clipping the dollar,
Were still a foul crime,
Big Al'd be the counterfeit
Champ of all time!)

Bernanke must now make,
A pact with the Devil,
Who knows for a fact
That he's not on the level.

I promise to say,
That I'll promise to pay.
Right up to the final,
Financial doomsday.

The day when you'll ask:
Where were all the heroes?
Home watching tee-vee.
But there aren't enough zeroes...

... to make me worth squat,
Yea, I'll soon come to naught.
Our digital nation,
In hyperinflation.

When prices will soar,
It's all happened before,
Big Ben in his chopper,
Drops bucks by the score.

The music can't stop,
There'd be far too few chairs.
So keep the band playing.
And let's say our prayers.

We'll meet in the soup lines,
Remember the good times,
Before the bell tolled;
We should have bought gold.

(Common Law Copyright 2006)

* The reader will forgive us some small degree of poetic license. The proper verb when speaking of permanently increasing the vertical dimension of errant central bankers is 'hang,' of the which the past tense is 'hanged.'

A Paean to the Pip

'Here I sit, a little pip,
Upon a stop. I dare not slip!

'The trend is up; the trend is down.
The trend is nowhere to be found!

'I look above; I look below.
I don't quite know where I should go!

'The whole wide world is watching me.
What shall I give them all to see?

'I'm feeling bouncy, bright and gay.
I think I'll jump and bounce all day!

'I'll jump up here, just for the view.
And give the longs something to do!

'I'll hop below, because it's fun.
And watch the longs begin to run!

'I'll leap back up, because I can.
And watch the longs go long again!

'And now the shorts are joining too.
I'll give them all something to do!

'I'll head back down, fast as I can.
Then right back up; Whee!, this is grand!

'I'll leave them thinking puzzled thoughts;
Their indicators tied in knots!

'It's so much fun to be a pip.
And now I must give all the slip.'
 

Trading Three Pips

A Nubian songstress named Knight
Had a voice that could blow out a light.
Her career took a dip,
So she traded three Pips,
Now retirement's looking quite bright!